Everyone has heard the phrase “fake it till you make it”. True, there are some things you can fake till you make it, but there are certainly others that you shouldn’t ever try to fake. It’s actually a good practice to focus on and visualize the positive in order to imagine yourself where you want to be, while pretending that you’re already there isn’t helpful. It can be risky, both financially and socially, and can cause more harm than good. Don’t get caught being a phony, and only use the “fake it till you make it” method in ways that will help you and not harm you.
It takes a long time to build the confidence, success, knowledge, and network to portray yourself as a trusted source in your industry or space. These days, due to social media and hype around the entrepreneur lifestyle, it seems that many people are faking it till they make it online where everyone can see them. For many, this eventually means they get called out and humiliated. Sure, some get away with it, but a lot do not.
While it’s always a good idea to be honest and authentic, there are a couple things you can fake till you make it:
Confidence – If you are not feeling confident, maybe you need to learn more. If you have insecurities about your abilities, then you can fake confidence at first and then over time, as you learn more and become more secure in your abilities, you will feel more genuinely confident.
Success – If you are early in the process of developing your career, then you can fake some levels of success, but don’t go overboard. Don’t spend more than you have to project a life that’s not real; this can put people in real financial trouble. Have a couple nice shoes and suits, and drive a clean car.
Being neat and tidy is more important than being flashy when you don’t have the money to project success. Just having your nails clean, your hair tidy and wearing well-fitting clothes that are ironed will make you look successful. A person in a clean Honda is more trustworthy than someone in a dirty BMW. First impressions matter, and being clean and organized will provide a sense that you’re clean and organized in business too.
There are also some areas you should never attempt to fake:
Knowledge – You can’t fake that you know something when you don’t. When a prospect asks you a question you don’t have an answer for, you should say, “That’s a very good question”, write it down, and let them know you will find out for them. Use your resources and discuss with someone who knows. Tell your client that you will speak with an engineer, manager, or whomever is relevant. Don’t make up a response to a question because you might be wrong.
Extreme Success – Don’t fake that you’re much more successful than you are. Eventually people will know that you’re faking it and you will lose all credibility, which is very hard to gain back once it has been lost. Do not underestimate the power of being the underdog or the new guy; people love to help the new guy, and the underdog position can be charming while you’re working your way up. You know the gambling tip that it’s better to “hold your cards”? It’s the same in business; if you show yourself to be overly successful, it might do more harm than good, even when it’s true.
Be self aware of what you’re faking and try to attempt a month of mindfulness. It’s hard seeing all the flashy lifestyle photos on social media and not wanting to get sucked in. Remember, social media can breed a toxic culture of comparison, and don’t compare your “behind the scenes” of real life with someone’s well-produced highlights reel.
Most of the time, flashy isn’t going to help us out. As for confidence, go get what you want in life, grow as much confidence as you can, and build genuine self-respect through hard work. The best way to gain confidence is through practice and learning, so make sure to focus on the journey and be grateful and surprised when you see how far you’ve come naturally. Be a humble, respectful, confident, and kind person, and you will find people will naturally flock to you.
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