Likability is one of the key factors of success. A common misconception is that being likable is something that we are born with, as if likeability is a predetermined condition certain people are fortunate to have and others aren’t. But, like all human skills, we can develop habits to become more likable by understanding what causes people to like us and making a conscious effort to practice likability skills in our interactions with others.
Be Enthusiastic When Meeting
When first meeting someone, smile, make eye contact, and open up your posture to your widest position. When shaking hands, make it firm, and maintain eye contact while smiling. If you notice something about them that you can give them a sincere compliment about, do so, and if they have a recent accomplishment you’re aware of, make sure to mention it.
Listen
Most people love to talk about themselves and will appreciate someone who will take the time to listen to all they have to say. The problem is that most of the time we are busy thinking of our own response because we can’t wait for our opportunity to talk. The next time you are in a conversation, hold yourself back from talking or thinking about what to say, just listen to the other person and pretend that you are being tested to see how much you can learn about them. You will be surprised by how this changes the conversation for the better.
Be Present
Have you ever spoken with someone who was distracted, glancing at others, or checking their phone while you were speaking? Did you feel you were not very important to that person? Make sure not to make others feel that way, and remind them they are the center of your attention by facing them, smiling, making eye contact and being reflective and empathetic to what they are saying.
Ask Good Questions
Conversations often die quickly, or turn into monologues when we aren’t prompted by good questions. When someone is talking about something that they enjoy doing, ask them to elaborate, how they got into the activity, or what makes them enjoy it so much. Give the person you’re speaking with the opportunity to go deeper into the subject.
Determine What You Have in Common
Discovering areas of shared interest as a point of relatability will deepen the level of connection with others. This increases the level of appreciation on the part of both parties. The commonalities may not always be obvious – we may have to ask deeper questions to find what those commonalities are.
Use a Person’s Name When You Meet With Them
Know their name and use it. When meeting for the first time, say “Nice to meet you, _______”, then use their name throughout the conversation. People wake up when they hear their name, they know the conversation includes them, and it’s a gesture that makes your communication more personal. Use balance and gauge where you are in the conversation; don’t constantly use their name when they are already engaged, just as an extra touch.
Meeting on the Phone, Email or Video Call
Many cold calling sales professionals suggest standing and smiling when making calls because this causes the voice to reflect natural enthusiasm. Keeping email messages conversational with smooth, ‘to-the-point’ subjects will make you more likable by email. Be polite, and reread your email to make sure there are no offensive undertones before sending. Use a likable tone and clear message regarding what you’re sharing or requesting.
Practice Your Voice on the Phone:
Start by recording yourself on phone calls. Critically evaluate your tone, how well you listen, and how quickly you answer. Are you answering too fast? Are you really listening? What is the tone of the person you’re on the phone with; are they happy or annoyed? Give yourself an honest assessment.
Improve Your Interaction on the Phone:
It’s easy to daydream in a phone conversation, or worse, read emails or even answer them. Close down your email and chatting service when on the phone. Make sure to have only what you need for the call and notes to keep track of all the important aspects of the call. Your prospect will be able to sense when your focus is broken and it will make them feel irrelevant. Before taking a call, get all your unfinished thoughts off your mind, write them down as a list so that you don’t forget what else you need to complete, then clear your plate for the call.
Have fun! People like people who know how to enjoy themselves. Don’t be too hard on yourself – it can take a while to figure out what works best for you, so in the meantime have a good time, make friends and new customers.
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